This article is part of the Instruction for a Help series.
Good. Now eat a fruit. A special fruit of best size and ripeness. A man will fill up with vigor. A LUCKY LADY go to THE CENTER. You are on a way to peace! HOOoRAY! Now yooouuuuuuUUUUUUU NNn
IT IS THE OTHER SIDE OF PEACE. This is a way to take a fight and put it onto a FIEND FROM BELOW.
There is a plan. It is going on. You will know it a part is yours to play, friends. When a time comes for it you will feel a push. You know this. Go to the place. You will find a fight. Eyes on every tree. In every sky. Ears that swivel to a sound. A smell FIEND FROM BELOW leave behind. The stink of nothing. Of quiet. The stink of the red smoke he leave behind, dust on a earth. Ash on a stone. A death a dead thing.
A quiet and juiceless bodie. We follow it and you go.
And the locusts did gas and bomb the everliving shit out of the CBs and the walkers and the worms.
IF YOU KNOW A MACHINE YOU TAKE A MACHINE. The fast metal is not anymore for you, but maybe it still work. Put it to a test. A fire is a thing easy to make. Fill it up in a bottle and light a match. GivvvvvVVVvve
Give Give a fight to a man from below any way you can.
Noblest thing is a sacrifice. Do not give it easy, but to do it to protect a family.
To protect a FRIEND.
To PROTECT THE CENTER.
A noblest way to give up a bodie. To leave a hole where it is known you once were a thing.
DRIVE a machine to them. Hit a machine. Climb to the top of a loud machine. Soak up a hot metal and tear
away a face. It come away easy. Beneath it a face like you. A scream, a kick, a bite. A FIEND FROM BELOW
fall. Maybe his juices come out. Maybe his PRESSURIZED CIRCULATORY SYSTEM CONVEYEd a thing to his head part and now he is a FRIEND.
Now let's get up there and kick some ass ."
Now is a time. A star is falling now. RED WORM turn away! Do not look. The sadness is feeling in a air. So hot. So many quiet. So many choke on a RED SMOKE. FIGHT.
It is for a PEACE. This is what a thing is of LOVE. Go to house of a FIEND FROM BELOW. When it is found it will be ours. He has many houses. Make them open. Make them free.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.