Battlefield 2142 Impressions, City of Heroes Patch

City Of Heroes/City Of Villains: Good Vs. Evil

NCsoft has released the "Good versus Evil" edition of City of Heroes and City of Villains, packaging both massively multiplayer superhero games in one box along with unique costume pieces and powers. To coincide with Good Versus Evil's launch, a number of bugs and gameplay elements have also been addressed.

• Attacking an enemy no longer triggers every NPC in the game, across all servers, to dance.


• New outfit available: Audrey Hepburn's dress from Breakfast At Tiffany's. Now you can relive your favorite battle sequences from the brutal and unrelenting film in Paragon City.


• Loot has finally been added! Defeated mobs will drop items ranging from moss covered boots to rusty cans to the grandest prize of them all, a large mouth bass.


• Flying has been slightly tweaked. Players must now run two hundred yards to gain enough momentum for takeoff.


• Landing has been slightly tweaked. You cannot do it.


• Facial hair no longer grants players invulnerability.


• Special reward for players who have subscribed to City of Heroes/City of Villains for more than 2 years: A form letter sent to your e-mail account expressing our thanks!


• New archetype available, the Inviter. Able to randomly invite absolutely everyone he sees to join his party, repeatedly ask them for an explanation when they decline, then go into a rage if he doesn't like their excuse. Never actually gets a party together or leaves the beginners' area.


• The Gaydar superpower is now fully functioning.


• Reworked combat system. Punches now do as much damage as three kicks, kicks do half the damage of ranged attacks, ranged attacks do as much damage as two hip thrusts (while simultaneously multiplying the damage of each kick by ten), and scissors beats everything.


• Characters using the "Huge" body type get Shetland pony mounts for free.


• Many users complained of running missions in office buildings that were almost identical, resulting in monotony. To change things up, some office hallways are REAL long now.


• There is now a 44% chance that you will break an ankle while performing a superjump.


• Brutes were vastly overpowered. After landing each punch, they now compulsively travel to the nearest restroom and wash their hands before returning to the battle.


• Removed nearly all references to felching.


• Users have reported missing textures, random crashes, and sound distortion. We have determined that these are not bugs, but are very effective superpowers which NPCs are using against you.

Battlefield 2142 Demo Impressions

The Battlefield 2142 demo is 1.08 Gigabytes. It comes in a zip file, which was thoughtful of EA. Compression is awesome!

The file sits on my desktop just below my Recycle Bin. It isn't overbearing at all. I like the way it looks.

I like it.

Defcon: Everybody Dies
Well gee, if you assholes are going to spoil the ending why should I even play? 8/10

Paraworld
Don't get too excited, this is a pretty decent RTS with people riding dinosaurs and not the genre-breaking paraplegic parachuting game we've all been hoping for. 7/10

Doom
The first decent game released this century with John Romero's name in its credits. 8/10

Totemball
I have enough trouble pressing the Xbox 360's Eject button and lifting a game out of the tray, do you really expect me to wave my arms around spastically for three minutes to move a turtle on a ball halfway across the screen and live through the experience, much less enjoy it? 3/10

Fifa '07
The World Cup doesn't come around for another three years, what the heck are you releasing this for now? 8/10

Naruto: Clash Of Ninja 2
If you're only going to buy one Gamecube exclusive fighter this month then you should buy this, and if you're going to buy two Gamecube exclusive fighters this month I guess you'll have to buy a second copy. 7/10

Baten Kaitos Origins
If real battles were fought with cards like they are in this game, the first nation to develop papercut-proof vests would inherit the Earth. 7/10

Gangs Of London
Whether Grand Theft Auto actually influenced real life violence is debatable, but there will be no denying that Gangs Of London will be directly responsible for software store clerks getting punched by everyone who buys this game. 4/10

Clubhouse Games
More than twenty classic board and card games that are hard to screw up and harder to get very excited about. 6/10

Mario Vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis
In the Japanese version the title is "Sixteen Gigantic Marios Take Turns Punching An Ape" and all you do is play tennis. 8/10

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)