Game Reviews In Men's Magazines

When people talk about doctors playing god, they mean it in a bad way. Ask any old-school gamer (the kind that can remember the Gamecube and the original X-Box) and you'll get a totally different reaction. Playing God is freakin' awesome.

God games were created by Sid Meyer, and Spore is the latest god game from him and Will Wright that brings the classic genre back to life with one major difference: Your animal can have other limbs and you are a different god than before.

It may sound like a game for brainiac nerds but when your Spore creature is eating other creatures and invading planets you'll swear it's the next best thing to grabbing boobs or driving a convertible with the collar of your polo shirt coiffed straight up.

Throw shit with the force and play a bad guy? Hell yeah. This lightsaber game is only missing a space keg for you to levitate and open with your mind powers.

The Star Wars license has been on a roll with Star Wars: Clone Wars and Soul Calibur IV, and this game continues that roll... with a push from the force! The whole game is really about the force and how you unleash it with your controller.

Unleash the force on your video game console!

The first World Of Warcraft clone with a real chance of usurping the king of Massively Multiplayer MMOs, this game is all about war. Booyah! Don't be fooled by the name, Warhammer Online has lots of weapons to choose from and even more to collect and trade in an online mode.

Humans can fight against dwarfs or orcs in many environments.

The 4 in the game's name doesn't stand for "foursome with lingerie models" (unfortunately), but it does stand for adrenaline-fueled shoot action. Fight against zombies with your friends in this action-packed excitement-a-minute Half-Life sequel that's so good it's scary.

If you like fun, get the game that's so good it leaves other games for dead.

Role playing games go nuclear in this game about nuclear fallout. You play a character who drinks irradiated water. But be careful! There are other dudes straight out of Mad Max who want the water too - and to kill you! There are also some post-apocalyptic skanks running around but you wouldn't want to go near them with a ten foot Geiger counter.

Blow your enemies' heads off in awesomely gruesome slow-motion or invest in stat points. The choice is up to you in this game with over ten million possible endings and a dog.

Spore
Like commissioning Michelangelo to sculpt the most ridiculously detailed Warhammer 40K figures ever made, then finding out you can only use them to play checkers on a board with a 3x3 grid. 7/10

Tales Of Vesperia
The only Japanese RPG in recent memory to address topical issues, such as the plight of dogs that are forced to fight to the death and smoke from corncob pipes. 9/10

Infinite Undiscovery
The meaning of the title might seem unsensical, but once you reach the end of the game it will be inrevealed and you'll feel a great sense of dethoughtful. 7/10

Mercenaries 2: World In Flames
Addressing bugs and A.I. problems by increasing the radius of explosions and mohawks. 6/10

– Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell (@DennisFarrell)