Games aren't just for kids any more! Once upon a time video games were beeps and boops, but now they are very realistic. Move over Mario - Shadow Sonic is in town, and he's got guns. You might say gaming has grown up.
After inserting quarters and getting swollen joystick thumbs for years, have video game junkies learned anything of value? As a matter of fact, they have!
Lesson #1: Don't let the ghosts touch you
Lesson #2: Don't walk into lava
Lesson #3: Don't leave the area
Lesson #4: Some people are named Bill - it can't be helped
Lesson #5: Climb into the mass grave
Lesson #6: Items labeled Trash can be sold to any vendor
Lesson #7: Kiss your loved ones
Drawn to Death
If the goal was to be more forced, annoying, and hideous than Bad Day LA, the result is a tremendous success. 2/10
There are already so many fantastic, lengthy new games that I can't get around to all of them, so I'm deducting a point. 9/10
It's fine, even if every environment texture looks like spraypainted broccoli. 5/10
I saw good men turned to mush in the wars against the soggies. Men much better than you, Mr. President. If you are going to take John Brennan's security clearance, take my security clearance too.
Forget beer checkers, beer chess and beer dejarik. Only these games are guaranteed to put you on dialysis by age 30.
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
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