After my girlfriend and I sit under the Christmas tree and exchange gifts we have our annual Christmas porn discussion. It's a family tradition!

My count for 2008 is 24 so far. Days I've gone without masturbating? No, number of times I masturbated! Ha, you see what I mean? I'm not trying to kick the habit, I'm trying to break records over here.

I'm sure that whatever this says it's pretty wacky stuff.

I've been struggling with masturbation since I was 12 as well. Struggling with finding ways to do more of it, that is!

Listen, God is busy with more important things right now but when He comes back he'll look at your dick okay?

For a anti-porn, anti-masturbation Christian forum there sure is a lot of gay crap going on. Not that I am complaining of course! Hiyo! Where all the tight young choir boys at?! Holla at me now.

NBC was a once mighty network, but now I hardly jerk off to their shows these days. Once, maybe twice a week, at most.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful