I'm seconding this but also try to fit the store greeter somewhere in the story. Make him a lighthearted old pervert, but not too over the top.
"Oh Batman!", Catwoman moaned, as he thrust his Bat-a-rang into her yearning vagina. "You have conquered this pussy yet again."
Won't someone please help this blind old man?
Joe Adcock. Family man.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
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