May is one of my favorite months because it's the time when the unwashed come out of the very smelly woodwork to rave and moan about video games they won't even play for another six months or more. I'm not talking about the "That looks cool," and "I'll probably buy that," guys, I'm talking about dudes with actual emotional investments in this shit. They were all over the Internet this week and the forum goons knew where to look, including right under our very noses.

It's not often you're able to surmise how greasy a keyboard is just by reading a post that came out of it, but I'm getting some serious vibes here. If I had to guess, I'd say "Customer Service's" home row is approaching KFC levels.

I hate myself and I want to die.

Let's see:
Console rivalry
"TEH" and "NEWB"
Crappy analogy involving video games
Crappy analogy involving video games and fast food
Crappy analogy involving video games and fast food and still being hungry after eating an entire fast food meal
Draw your own conclusions and then stuff that drawing in an envelope and mail it to Art Bell.

I really wish there was footage from this grown man's video game fit.

Moisture comes in contact with "Ice Blue's" face for the first time since the Great Hot Pocket Filling Leak of '04.

Okay, he's not obese he's just storing fat for hibernation. Good excuse, "Forzan."

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