Consciousness.com, submitted by me. Meet Dav*d Hargrave. Yes, that's his name with the asterisk and all. He seems to know a whole l*t about the universe.
"The key to understanding Universal Azium Ascention is for you to create an azium for yourself. To do this simply stand up and spin around a few times and then stop. As you will see, an azium, like the one which continues to spin ethereally around you has some interesting properties: it seems to float, it also seems to bend light as you can see by looking out through it. It makes everything wavey. . . so it has properties of fluids, I believe it is some kind of ethereal, fluid-crystalinity.
Children call it Dizzy I call it an Azium!"
To make a long st*ry short, Dav*d likes to spin around and get dizzy to achieve a higher consciousness. If th*t weren't enough, here's a divine, universally tuned, Earthling-style photograph of the m*n himself wearing some sort of spirit bra.
"I aplolgize to you if my presentation, in any way, keeps you from understanding and benefitting from these ideas."
Apol*gy accepted, Dav*d.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
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