Morgellons is a disease that makes you sit around and post on the Internet all day about Morgellons. That's pretty much it. If anyone ever tells you he has Morgellons you can rest assured he spends four or more hours each day posting on sites like "morgellonssufferers.com" or "thishairgrowingfrommeisnotmine.org".
Speaking of hair, Morgellons sufferers like to believe mysterious, painful fibers erupt from their skin. Because of this bizarre claim they have been labeled as insane methamphetamine addicts. The New Morgellons Order aims to change this. By making several insightful posts on - gasp - the Internet, the reader quickly learns that Morgellons sufferers aren't insane methheads. They're insane methheads who couldn't pick out a good design template if the CIA kidnapped their children and plugged a spy satellite into their foreheads. They know because this has happened.
Especially interesting at New Morgellons Order (whose header is misspelled) is the "Quotes from 'experts'" secition. Alongside several interesting arguments against leading anti-Morgellons experts, we're treated to the persuasive powers of the animated GIF. For instance, are you inclined to believe the opinions of...
A SNAKE WOMAN?!?
Then how about A MAN WHOSE HEAD SHAKES AT RANDOM?!?
Alright, then, what about A MAN WHOSE HEAD TURNS INTO A BABY BLOCK?!?
Certainly a MAN WHO TURNS INTO DARTH VADER will show you the light!!!
No? Then you see my point. Morgellons is a serious disease with serious ramifications. Especially for people who don't believe it exists. Watch your back, Mr. Eight Years Of Medical Training - they might as well have named ImageReady "The Great Equalizer". How much are your opinions worth when YOUR EYES TURN RED AND A BAT FLIES OUT OF YOUR EAR?! That's what I thought, "doctor".
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.