Sarah Harmon was just your average, everyday paranormal investigator until the fateful day an evil spirit used its spooky ghost magic to turn her into a fledgling Internet phenomenon. Forced to endlessly market her new personal-brand identity, she has vowed to use her newfound powers to change the world of Parapsychology and "fight the misdiagnosis of paranormal activity and mental illness." She is the one they call ... Paranormal Sarah.
A self-described jack of all trades, Paranormal Sarah does it all, from college lectures to paranormal conferences to live webisodes to local readings to live chats, on top of being a mother, a student, a blue-collar worker, a musician, and a Virgo. Paranormal Sarah has been hearing and seeing ghosts since practically forever, according to this five-minute video. Her bio narrows it down a bit, explaining that she started down her path by brazenly disobeying her grandma:
Being told by my wise grandmother to simply, "stay clear of the afterlife Sarah, for you are a Gatekeeper..." intrigued my curiosity.
Wow, what a mysterious and marketable origin story! Paranormal Sarah is like a real-life RPG character on a quest to fulfill her destiny. I'm surprised her grandmother didn't give her a sword and shield right then and there.
From the looks of things, being a paranormal investigator is cool as hell. You get to wear sexy black outfits and look at bibles with flashlights. It's kind of like being a termite inspector, except instead of checking for termites you go around asking "Are there any ghosts in here" and if there are they have to say "yes" (same deal with undercover cops).
Pretending to be a Ghostbuster doesn't pay all the bills or monetize her brand, so Paranormal Sarah has set up a web store where she offers a few services, including therapy sessions and psychic readings that can somehow be done via email. Hey, if Ghostwriter can travel across the internet, so can psychic waves.
Although she has "modeled for over 20 years from MAXIM to Miss America," Paranormal Sarah isn't just a pretty face. She's hard at work in the research lab, working on various projects the scientific community refuses to acknowledge. Currently she's having some trouble getting funding for something called "The God Helmet," which sounds very real and not at all like a comic-book prop.
She's also working on "The Sarah LeMorte Series," an all-ages book series that will teach readers about parapsychology, which should prove very educational and brand-extending in all the major key demographics. If you're feeling charitable enough to help fund these projects, be sure to click the small PayPal button she's blown up to giant size so it's all blurry and pixelated.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.