AwfulVision Reader Mailbag 1.5

Original update: AwfulVision #6: Reader Mailbag #1

Occasionally (okay, "once"), I like to post some of the funny, stupid, or retarded things people send me via email. For example:

From: "Chris Everett"
Subject: Awfulvision

Dear Mr Bailey,
After recently reading your awfulvision article, I was frankly shocked and offended. Awfulvision has become just a platform for spouting offensive bile on people videos. People like Mis Jackie, who's only escape may have been V logging. People like reymon14, who may use V logging as a creative outlet. By making fun and riling people with autism you have succesfully taken the human race back 150 years. When you support people attacking these videos, you support bullying and abuse. This is not fair or funny, and having to gain your humour from insulting others makes you a very small man (or woman) indeed. So I ask you this. Stop using youtube to insult others. Stop ridiculing people who may have no means or perhaps not even understand that you are winding them up. I know you are probably not a horrible person, so please, dont give the impression that you are one. Dont be abusive, as it doesnt do anybody any good. Please, be the good person I know you can be and stop posting peoples personal videos and ridiculing them. Ones like "How to spot a meth manufacturer" are funny, but when you post ones about people spilling their lives, then insulting them, it crosses a line between humour and cruelty.
Hope you take this advice
Be a good person :)

Chris is from England, and I can only guess that "Something Awful" translates to "Something Sensitive P.S. We vow to never make fun of anything ever" in British or whatever language they speak over there.

From: "Graham 'Phantom' Watson"
Subject: Knocking the locks
Hey, I'm a gainfully employed nightclub manager, software engineer, teacher, coursewriter, and community leader, I wash my hair three or four times a week, I'm not a prick to anybody, and I have about two feet of dreadlocks. What up with knocking on the hairstyle? There are more worthy things to poke fun at people about than how they arrange their hair.

P.S.: Dreadlocks actually need to be kept very clean so they don't get oily and untangle. It's a strange persistent myth that you 'create' dreadlocks through a lack of hygiene.

Graham "Phantom" Watson

On one hand, I want to call Graham a faggot for thinking that I give a shit about his stupid fucking hair or his stupid fucking email or his stupid fucking .info websites. On the other hand, I am terrified of phantoms and I do not want to be haunted.

From: "Miss Jackie"
Subject: Hey Thanks

I saw your article that you wrote about me and I wanna say, "THANKS!!!". The views on my blog have skyrocketed thanks to you.

Thanks so much, sweet cheeks! ;)


P.S. Feel free to write about me anytime, since I crave the attention /SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/ much. :)

"Heh. You think I care about your stupid article? I don't. Look at how sarcastic I am being. That is an example of how much I don't care. To give you another example of how much I don't care, I deleted all my videos and closed my Youtube account because I don't care so much. As you can see, I clearly do not care at all. Here are some random emoticons to further how much I, Miss Jackie, don't care. Furthermore, a bunch of people have been visiting my blog and using the bandwidth I pay for by rubbing cat food all over my face to call me a fat sack of shit. Clearly, I am the winner. Good day, sir."

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About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

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