Lil Cunty

Kinder Avocado: a normal avocado but where the pit usually is, it's a small unassembled toy instead

kiwis the size of watermelons, and every seed is nice and tastes like a blueberry

kiwis the size of watermelons, but when you cut it open its full of seeds and every seed is actually a spider (prank kiwi for your friends)

root oranges: hardy underground citrus for difficult growing climates


a pine tree that incinerates itself after december 25th


intelligent fruits... genes 2 make them smarter and better at turning themselves into perfect specimens and obsessed with dying at just the right time to ripen to perfect freshness for you

Lil Cunty

brussels cubes


Birds that shit ice cream into your mouth

Lil Cunty

corn that has a single grain of salt and a drop of butter injected into every kernel before its dried

not really a gmo until we discover the butter gene but it will make perfect popcorn every time

Ayatollah Hermione

cows that make Dr. Pepper instead of milk

Lil Cunty

lightning backlights castle spires. deep within the dungeons below, a scientist reaches for an udder. madness gleams in this eyes, a reddish brown stream arcs into the beaker. sweat beads on his forehead. he smells the liquid, cherry and spice mingled with warm cattle and the more sinister smells of the secret laboratory. he swirls the liquid in the beaker, once, twice. the cow lows softly, chewing 6 of its 11 additional cuds. face set with resolve, he takes a large gulp, shudders, and collapses. a long, desperate scream can be heard throughout the forests surrounding the castle, and above the crashing thunder a curse that sounds something like "Mr. Pibb"


beets where you squeeze them over a canvas and the canvas dematerializes, and rematerializes in an art gallery a few blocks away with the beet's name accredited to it

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