Fun with Football!

With the season over, mcp turned to other threads, but he didn't forget what matters most -- disparaging Alex Smith.

Qwijib0 posted:

may contain peanuts posted:

Matt Hasselbeck played the entire season with one collapsed lung, every bone in his body broken, and the other lung also collapsed. And he still won more playoff games this year than Alex Smith has won in his career.

may contain peanuts posted:

[Alex Smith] always has these handful of great plays or great drives in between the raw unmitigated diarrhea he usually spews all over the field. He's at basically the worst skill level possible. Bad enough to sink the team, but good enough that you want to keep giving him more shots at it. Obviously it would be best if he could be consistently good like Matt Hasselbeck, but failing that it would be better for him to be consistently bad. At least then maybe he could finally get cut.

may contain peanuts weighed in with his unique take on "The 12th man"'s campaign for the Madden 2011 cover.

JeansW posted:

You'll all feel sorry when the 12th man wins and the Madden Curse strikes, collapsing Qwest stadium during a game and injuring or killing thousands of fans!

may contain peanuts posted:

Not possible. Fans of the Seattle Seahawks cannot be defeated by a mere collapsing roof. They would just pick the stadium up and hurl it several miles where it would crush Candlestick (a shitty stadium for assholes).

may contain peanuts addresses the relationship-advice sub-forum from his singular perspective.

You gotta pick your battles; some opinions are so indefensibly awful that it's really not worth getting into an argument about them. Like I had a guy the other day try to tell me that the 49ers were a better sports team than the Seahawks, and in my head I'm thinking like "whaaaaat???" but I didn't say anything about it because it was obvious to everyone but him that he was wrong. You don't have to argue about every thing a person says that you disagree with.

may contain peanuts applies his sharp understanding of emotional responses to the NFL draft!

It's possible he's crying because he realized he'll never be a Seattle Seahawk, and won't get to play for the best team in the NFL and also the world. Although I guess he could get traded, that's still a thing. Maybe he's crying because he could be traded to the 49ers.

SteelAngel2000 posted:

LSKD:SLFKSL:D

FIRE AJ SMITH FUCK FOOTBALL

may contain peanuts posted:

That's you on the right, crying.

I'm the dude on the left, I'm all like "Hey did you hear about the Seahawks? I heard they're a really good team, I heard they're better than the 49ers, hey are you listening? Hey!"

Finally, moderator MorningView ended may contain peanuts' glorious run. His ruling displayed grace, dignity and compassion, virtues absolutely no one would expect from a Dallas Cowboys fan.

MorningView posted:

Feel free to stop, dude. You've more than lived up to the spirit of the bet and gone way above and beyond the call of duty with this as far as being entertaining goes.

And that's the end of that eight-month saga! Thanks again to kidcoelacanth for compiling the posts and writing summaries, and to may contain peanuts for being such a good sport. Congrats to his Niners; he deserved that.