Wow, can you imagine Wolverine playing a Nintendo Wii? Of course not, Wolverine is a fictional character and nobody still plays the Wii.

Finally, Yoda this balloon is. Feel free to read this caption aloud in the terrible Yoda accent that a lot of people think they can do, but end up sounding like a retarded Miss Piggy.

I'm sticking a pin into this article, and letting it float around the room while making a sound not unlike a long, drawn-out fart. That's all for this week, but big thanks go to TwystNeko for showcasing a wonderful talent, and small thanks to the rest of the forum goons who showed encouragement and offered a whole host of weird and wonderful ideas. Check out some more balloons in the original thread, right here. Next week's Goldmine will not be so inoffensive, and showing the contents of the article to your children will scar them, and possibly yourself, for life. Have a productive week and join me again next Tuesday!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

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    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

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