To gauge whether you're the kind of person who might become enthralled by Professor Wonder's Wonder Factory, please attempt to identify the balloon sculpture below:
If you guessed "testicles everywhere!" or anything related to excreta or advanced-stage venereal diseases, shame on you: Professor Wonder is a wholesome entertainer! If you guessed "motorcycle monkey," congratulations: You're Professor Wonder, the only person blessed/cursed with that unique interpretation of this brown, contorted rubber.
This next one poses an even sterner test. Guess the object/animal/abstract concept conveyed by this illustration:
The correct answer is, of course, heaven: "This gold colored balloon reminds me of heaven, where the streets are paved with gold. And the circle reminds me that heaven goes on forever -- it has no end. It kind of looks like the sun, but in heaven there is no need for the sun, because God himself is the light there." Being a balloon artist is pretty easy, as long as you can call the finished product whatever the fuck you want!
Sadly, the site's promised "Greatest Wonder," represented by this twirling cross, now results in a 404 error. Professor Wonder, why have you forsaken us?
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.