Zack: All hail the Tetravus, herald of overly-complicated rules, harbinger of the end of this goddamn article.
Steve: I didn't see you tap any lands to summon the artifact.
Zack: All the mana I needed was stored in my Mox Fuck You.
Steve: Awwww and we were getting along so well other than that time you cussed at me.
Zack: Steve, I sat and stared at "Steve is typing a message" for like half an hour while you typed up that goddamn poop story. Each nugget was more disgusting than the one that came before it.
Steve: Nah, it was all in one huge log. Equal gross consistency.
Zack: AAAAA!!! Steve!
Steve: See you later folks!
Zack: I hope you die a toilet death.
–
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Rifts Worldbook 10: Juicer Uprising (1996)
- Magic the Gathering: Alpha (original set, 1993)
- Heroes Unlimited (1984/1993)
- Space: 1889 (1988)
- Rifts Worldbook 20: Canada (1999)
