Zack: Lou Dobbs tried to warn us.
Steve: This is what happens when one of those gray alien guys from all the abduction stories smokes a lot of weed and drops out of high school to fix cars.
Zack: "Bro, trust me, I know what I'm doing. I can talk to this tiger."
Steve: Then a few minutes later he's down in the tiger cage screaming for somebody to call 911.
Zack: "911, what is your emergency?" "Yeah, I'd like to report a...looks like a ethnic version of the roaming gnome down in the tiger cage at the zoo. Looks like he's fixin' to get ate."
Steve: By the time the 911 dudes show up there'd just be a bloody cotton smock and half a mustache. And one very happy looking tiger.
Zack: If only we had someone around who could translate what the tiger was saying.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Lost Treasures of the AD&D 2nd Edition Monstrous Compendium
- The World of Synnibarr (1993)
- The Art of Vampire: The Masquerade (1990s)
- The Original Dungeons & Dragons
- Dorkiest Mechs of 3025 (Battletech)
