Zack: The hallway turns several times and passes through a door. It goes from a neatly-squared, finished hallway to a winding tunnel through stone. Using your gypsy infravision you detect someone approaching through the darkness.
Steve: We wait in ambush.
Zack: A lone orc appears. He is carrying a harp.
Steve: We will wait in hiding and allow him to pass.
Zack: As he's walking past, Trebbelos leaps out and stabs the orc in the back with his dagger. The orc cries out in pain and falls to the ground. The other wizards leap out and begin stabbing and kicking the orc. They are laughing and covered in blood.
Zack: One of the wizards picks up the harp and drop-kicks it, breaking all the strings. Another makes the brutally murdered orc call you fat.
Steve: I guess we had better continue down the hall before his friends come.
Zack: The wizards are rolling around in the orc's blood. Their faces and hair are completely red with his blood. They are laughing insanely. "Hey, gypsy, when you sit around the caravan you really sit around the caravan," says the orc's corpse.
Steve: I'm continuing down the hall whether or not these guys are coming with me.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.