Zack: After about 200 feet of traveling your gypsy sense begins to tingle. You feel there is danger ahead in the hallway. You can see the hall ahead is a slightly lower level that you must reach by taking a short staircase.

Steve: Approach the staircase cautiously, my magical spear and basil at the ready.

Zack: You notice Nickar and Trebbelos are hanging back.

Steve: "What do you know, you accursed layabouts!?"

Zack: "Oh, nothing, we didn't use our ESP potions or powers. We're just tired so we'll wait here while you scout ahead."

Steve: I don't believe them. I am going to tie a length or rope around Trebbelos and throw him ahead.

Zack: Onto the staircase?

Steve:
Yeah.

Zack: Trebbelos is screaming and crying because he is a literal baby. You tie a rope around his waist and hurl him at the stairs ahead of you. There is a clank and they swing open and Trebbelos disappears into a pit.

Steve: Is he okay?

Zack: He's pretty banged up and he's screaming really loud, but he is okay, dangling from the rope about twenty feet above the dark surface of a pool of water.

Steve:
"Sorry about that, little man. I had to check for traps."

Zack: "SUCK MY DICK!" he yells and then keeps screaming. It's super loud and annoying.

Steve: I'm going to haul him up and try my best to comfort him.

Zack: It takes a while and his screaming is so loud that it summons some of the foul denizens of the dungeon!

Steve: What evil approaches?

Zack: It is a black widow spider. It taunts you, "What's up, King Size? You ready to lose some weight the hard way: by turning into a skeleton?"

Steve: It is you that will be losing the weight, I'm afraid! Attack!

Zack: The spider dodges your attack and counters by webbing a small part of your toe. "Prepare to be my meal for the next million years!"

Steve: Can I step on it?

Zack: You easily step on the spider. It is dead.

Steve: He really had it coming. Which way can we go?

Zack: You can leap over the pit and continue down the winding hall to a doorway.

Steve: Do that. Open the door.


More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful