Zack: Defend this, Steve. Defend it. I dare you.
Steve: Dang, clams are pretty uncool.
Zack: But they are trained hand-to-hand fighters with greater skill than a space marine.
Steve: That's because all of the space marines were out of shape back in the day. Before the Emperor put them on a serious diet. No carbs.
Zack: In the grim darkness of the far future there is only protein. And also lean cheeses.
Steve: They really had to increase their activity level. All of this waddling around and hassling kids just wasn't good enough for a superhuman future warrior.
Zack: There's no workout quite like war. Ceaseless, all-consuming, desperate galactic war. Really gets you ready to fight a clam.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S3 "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks"
- Street Fighter: Contenders (The Street Fighter Monster Manual)
- Street Fighter the Storytelling Game Core Rulebook
- 2009 WTF, D&D!? Role Playing Fine Arts Contest Winners
- Warhammer 40,000 Core Rules (5th Edition)
