Ask Jeff K. Cliff Bleszinski: FAGOT

i was on "Americans Funniest JHome Videos" once when my stupid brothar brought hoem a parrot and teh parrot was flying around and I said "SOMEBODY CATCH MR. SPRINKLES!!" and we tried to runs aftar it and catches it and teh parrot flew into my dads hair and crapped!!! it was funny,. then we hit him in the penis with a baseball. WE did NOT win teh moneys but i was vary famous, just liek I am vary famous now becyause Cybarspace Intarnet Superhighway man CLIFF BLIZZANSKI emaled me with his emale. some day I will Win Americans Funniest home Videos becuase I am going to fall off teh roof onto a rake.

NO

From: Pat Campbell
Subject: Help me!!

I previously e-mailed you concerning my becoming a zombie. I am in this zombie wannabe (my favorite song) cult, and the guy Fransico Lopez whom we are all trying to get to kill us so we can be zombies won't do it. I think you gave him some advice and I ask that you help him change his mind so we can all be dead and be zombies and walk when we're dead. Cyclopses forever! Oh and P.S. we've started a Jeff K fanclub at school, and we even have jeff K shirts with sayings like "You Faggot" and "EMALE ME" and even "Haxxors Rule". I will email you a picture of the near 800 members of your fan club wearing their shirts. PPS. will you tatoo your signature on my forehead? I am your #4 fan. Thanks please reply soon, and post this e mail so all can see how kewl the Jeff K fanclub is.

SHUT UP

From: Codits86
Subject: (no subject)

Hey for some reason my friend thinks that unreal tournament kicks ass because it runs off glide and i dont know what to do with him can you tell me what to do?