Step One: Assess Your Surroundings
But hey, some people just like to prove they have big brass balls when it comes to laughing in the face of danger, and while it's not the most intelligent thing to do I fully endorse anyone who is willing to die horribly to prove a point. Especially when that point involves mocking Zeus and Poseidon. If you're still making your abode in the direct path of hurricane Humphry then it's time to move on to Step Two in my guide to helping you survive the onslaught.
Step Two: The Window is the Root of All Evil
The first thing you'll want to do is cover your windows with a material less likely to shatter into a thousand sharp fragments than glass. Most people seem to enjoy using plywood, but I would personally recommend something a little more heavy duty like steel reinforced concrete. It's a little known fact that you can build windbreaks out of rebar and cinderblocks for each of your windows in the same amount of time it would take you to cut down a tree and process it into plywood. Additionally, try applying "X"s made out of electrical or duct tape to the inside of each pane of glass. This won't actually accomplish anything but it lets the weather know that you're serious as shit about not dying.
When the hurricane does wash over your house like the apocalyptic roar of the great beast leviathan you should stay well clear of any windows regardless of the level of precautions you have taken. A razor sharp shard of broken glass will punch right through a wooden grandfather clock, into dry wall, slash through the stud, and emerge on the other side ready to dish out a buffet of stabbing trauma to you and your loved ones. Assuming every house in America is identical to my dream house you should have a lead lined vault in the exact center of your home. When you hear the fell winds start a-blowin' just head to your reinforced "safe room" and listen to the soft tinkling of glass daggers as the shatter harmlessly against the titanium outer shell.
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