Overview: A madman tries to crash a plane full of environmental scientists into the Bermuda triangle, using a computer virus to do it remotely because he's also a weird shut-in. The planet's only hope? A 15 year old CIA intern with delusions of grandeur and negative self-awareness. Place your bets.
Directed By: Dee McLachlan, 1992
The Case For: If you like your foley work to be as irritating as possible, you'll enjoy the water pistol that sounds like a .44 Magnum and other assorted sonic anti-delights.
The Case Against: Corey Haim as Lance Elliot, mildly autistic wanna-be spy teen, who travels from Philadelphia to L.A. to wander around being smug and pissing everyone off, from CIA agents to supervillains. Basically, he's the anti-Fresh Prince (the Stank Prince, maybe?)
Hydrogen: "Hey, what's a good title for our crappy teenage spy movie that makes it sound as unoriginal and cliched as possible? Oh, I know, how about The Double 0 Kid? And let's make sure we get a title sequence to match:"
Trillaphon: This music is giving me Vietnam flashbacks to Crime Zone.
Hydrogen: Oh no, wait, that's definitely a real Bond movie intro, my bad. Here's the actual, definitely unedited title sequence in all its glory.
Trillaphon: When you said "teenage spy movie" at first I was afraid we had to watch Shapeshifter again. Although even if it can't match that level of raw insanity, in some ways The Double 0 Kid is even more confusing. Like it's rated PG-13, for the sole reason that some of the actors get frustrated enough to say "shit" a couple of times. And then there's the latest Beverly Hills craze, hot tubbing in eveningwear.
Hydrogen: I might have felt a little bad making fun of the late Corey Haim, but since a main contributing factor to his death was rampant drug addiction developed partly in response to coping with/overcoming his child acting background, this movie pretty much killed him.
Trillaphon: He should appreciate us exorcising his demons by exposing it to the cold light of internet comedy, then.
Scourgelord Vilius Mandragore gave a speech from our shattered capital on Friday and we are here to fact check his claims about his million year empire.
In our new cat society, things have really gone from bad to purrse.
Reason 9: Ongoing mechanical issues with the internal Superman 64 fog machine.
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