This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.



Name: Artie
Breed: Labrador Mastiff
Age: 7
Gender: Male
Relationship Status: Single
Location: In and around Shaggy Butte
Rating: (3.5 out of 5 bones)
ePets: Artie has been ePetted 16 times.

EDITOR'S REVIEW: Artie could easily give the famous "Big Dog" of the Big Dogs clothing line a run for his money. This hardy fella is equal parts 'tude and heart. As a stalwart ally, he'll go to bat for you any day of the week. As an enemy, well, let's just say we don't plan to cross that bridge. Artie is known to crank the radio all the way up to blast his favorite tunes, but then he's the kind of dog that always lives life at full volume.

--BarkWire Junior Correspondent Chet Edwards

User Reviews

17 Reviews for Artie - Displaying 11-15

I SAW THIS DOG DRIVING!
Posted by KHunter [Read other reviews by KHunter]
(5 Bones)

I could scarcely believe my eyes! Whilst I dined at the lobster buffet on Bunhe St, this remarkable canid sat in a truck just outside the restaurant. He was in the driver's seat and looked thoroughly delighted to be there, like he could just bolt off in some passionate frenzy of driving at any moment. So exciting! Alas, he never did and lingered still even when I left. A dog driving a truck, what a stirring thought to think!


Dogs *SHOULD NEVER* drive.
Posted by Doctor Dog [Read other reviews by Doctor Dog]
(1/2 Bone)

To the above reviewer: clearly you were mistaken. Dogs are not capable of operating motor vehicles, and besides, you said the vehicle was parked. Obviously the owner just left the dog in the truck. The very notion of letting a dog drive is absolutely criminal. If it were a very small car in a controlled environment and the purpose was for entertainment, then that would be acceptable. Under any other circumstance you'd be putting the dog in danger.

P.S. I apologize for the stern rating but I want to reinforce just how dangerous it is for a dog to drive -- thankfully they cannot!


i got just one word: HELL YEAH!
Posted by jjjbones [Read other reviews by jjjbones]
(5 Bones)

i wanna see this dog f***ing roll over everyting lol. jump some ramps, do some donuts, excetera. dog in truck is best idea ive herd yet.


LET THE DOG DRIVE PLEASE
Posted by ELMO STEPHENS [Read other reviews by ELMO STEPHENS]
(5 Bones)

SAW THIS DOG SITTING IN THE DRIVERS SEAT OF A TRUCK PARKED AT KMART. THE WINDOWS WERE ROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS BLASTING SPANISH MUSIC AND SMILING AND HAVING A GOOD TIME. I KNOW PEOPLE SAY A DOG SHOULD NOT DRIVE BECAUSE DRIVING REQUIRES HANDS AND FEET AND DOGS ONLY HAVE PAWS BUT I WANT THIS DOG TO BE FREE. DRIVE, DOGGY, DRIVE. DON'T LOOK BACK JUST KEEP DRIVING. LEAVE ALL THIS MADNESS BEHIND BEFORE IT CONSUMES YOU! PLEASE ALLOW THIS DOG TO DRIVE.

ELMO STEPHENS


Big Effin' Deal
Posted by BiGDog [Read other reviews by BiGDog]
(1/2 Bone)

Oh wow, a driving dog. That'd almost be the most amazing thing ever if it were true. Of course it's a big ol' loud of hogwash, and you suckers are drinking it up. If you want to see really talented dogs, look no further than Clovis, Thunderspeak, Comodoro, and the early works of Strongbark, before his red bandanna phase. Those were some damn talented dogs performing all sorts of groundbreaking feats though to be impossible for dogs. Comodoro was thought to be the first dog to ever climb a ladder. Don't get me wrong, --BiGDOG's-- got a lotta love for those pooches, but Panzer is still top dog for sure.

If you think Artie is actually driving around town in a truck you're even dumber than the federal government.

--BiGDOG-- just sent your ass to the doghouse.

Click here to see BiGDOG's Kennel

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About this series

The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful