The Clavo Times Christmas Pageant 2007 Review

The chantin niggas backed off a little bit and then some shit started glowin. I don't know how they did it but they made that shit on the floor glow. Like with CGI or somethin only how could that be unless this is like the matrix and we are all up in computers. That Z Block nigga I swear I saw him float for a second and then his head just blew up. Must have put a bomb in it. Everyone starts screamin but we cant get up for some reason. Then Mario Brothers Matt tries to run and I look over and Pussy Ted is pukin out blood and this foam stuff. He's fallin over and twitchin.

That drum sound the whole time just gets louder and louder until yall can feel it in your chest. Then that tank dobs brought in starts swirlin and you can see the hearts and nigga I swear on my moms grave rest her soul I saw them hearts beatin in that tank. Same as the drums. Same as our hearts.

Well all I got to say about that nigga is fuck christmas. Fuck pageants. Fuck Jesus Beast. Cuz then the clavo shit got out of control. Lights went out and all the light was just those glowin symbols on the floor and Mario Brothers Matt is staggerin around and hes just like the bottom of his head and teeth on his body and his tongue is flappin around straight up out of his bloody stump teeth. At that point niggas around me start bleedin and screamin and eyes was all fallin out.

I saw Bed Trick Ben Rickies face fall off like cheese off a pizza. Serious Sissy JJ Pierre got up and then his bones fell up out of his chest. Clavo Shane Huggins and Peter Panther got up, ran about ten feet, and flew straight up into the air into the darkness. Ain't never come down. I seen shit you wouldnt even believe if I had pictures.I swear I saw a bird man watching us and I know we have not had no bird men in here since at least 2002 when Rooster Rodriguez died in a stabbing accident.

Nigga, I don't even know how I got out. Ninja turtles came in, they were dyin too. Everyone screamin and runnin. Dobs niggas, chantin robe niggas, all grabbin and explodin and blood shootin out of stumps. Eventually we all start runnin in a stampede up to the cells. Up to our blocks. Not even thinkin about escapin lampspoke, just to get out of x-block.

I hear tell they sealed it up tight. Aint nobody got in or out since the pageant. That makes this the worst pageant. Even worse than 2005 when that animal thing manifest up out of a spiral symbol and set everybody on fire in the front row. At least that was an accident not some sort of cosmic devil magic. Just drawing the wrong spirals is all. This was planned.

Least with x-block sealed up that gives me hope we never see no more clavo evil magic in this prison again.

My review is SKIP IT.

– Moneymaker Don Johnson up in D-Block (@sexyfacts4u)