Your professors don't care about your time. They don't care that writing essays interfere with your Madden07 season or your regimented beer-pong practice schedule before the tournament. Hell, most professors don't even care about the quality of your paper. No, they only care about the bottom line, length.

Midterms are coming up for most universities. Since my school has a bizarre schedule, I'm already on spring break. I know you're jealous, but I'm here to help you. Writing essays is 10% learning the information, 90% learning the system.

Writing a ten-page paper can be difficult, but by following these steps you can write at least fifteen with minimal effort. We all know the common changes like larger margins and periods, but here are a few tricks that are about to revolutionize the field.

This is a sample essay with the most important features pointed out.



* Some of the best Novel-it-up Techniques include:

  • Strong Character Voice (Shown Above)
  • Intricate Detail Regarding Setting
  • Flashbacks
  • Chapters



More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful