Cyber Monday is here! The favorite shopping day for people with severe social anxiety. They're going to keep adding fake holidays for you to spend a whole bunch of money until all of your money is gone. But for now, for today, this is the one we have. So here are all the bargains you can find on Amazon and you don't even have to take off your pajamas. Never take off those pajamas. Keep wearing them while you shop and eat breakfast and make water you filthy pajama piggy. Filthy little pajama piggy. Buy it.

It's "Eine unschlagbare Waffe" which loosely translates to "A great bargain!" It is being sold this Cyber Monday under the assumption that someone somewhere wants an obscure release of 1984's Airwolf pilot episode in an obsolete format. Why pay $7 for a Blu Ray version when you can spend hours adjusting the tracking on Stringfellow Hawk's face and trying to get the RCA cables to stay connected to the 30 year old TV in your basement. Includes no free shipping!

The Famous Fart Whistle for $3.65

Imagine the smile on your child's face when they see this novelty fart noise maker under the tree. For less than the price of two minutes of German Airwolf they could be enjoying this quality, two and a half star item from a weird foreign seller. Includes all of the following features:

If you're still not convinced, then just read any of the more than forty 1 star reviews!

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