Don't have time to watch the epic cinematic saga that is Full Moon Pictures' The Gingerdead Man? Here are the endings to every movie in the franchise so far.
The Gingerdead Man
Someone punches or just sort of pokes the Gingerdead Man, exploiting his one weakness of being a man made of gingerbread.
Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust
An old lady serves the Gingerdead Man to some kids, who pretend to eat him while the old lady talks about her dead husband.
Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver
The Gingerdead Man tells someone "bite me" - big mistake! The man punches him.
Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong
The Gingerdead Man gets marked down at the bakery and bought by a depressed person.
Gingerdead Man 5: Sweet Revenge
The Gingerdead Man is about to stab a girl but then realizes that his heart is made of gingerbread and can't pump the blood required for living, let alone stabbing someone, and dies.
Gingerdead Man 6: Unjust Desserts
No one buys the Gingerdead Man at a bake sale. He eventually goes stale and gets fed to a dog.
Gingerdead Man 7: Bread Rising
The Gingerdead Man is eaten by a fat man on his Weight Watchers free day.
Gingerdead Man 8: Crumble in the Bronx
The Gingerdead Man gets a fatal case of diabetes due to his body being 95% sugar.
Gingerdead Man 9: Recipe for Evil
Gingerdead Man 10: Crisco Inferno
Someone bakes the Gingerdead Man with the wrong kind of yeast or something. Who the hell even makes gingerbread men anymore?
Gingerdead Man 11: Hell's Kitchen
The Gingerdead Man falls behind a couch, landing in a pile of coins and rubber bands and stuff.
Gingerdead Man 12: Psycho Candy
Gingerdead Man 13: A Song of Icing and Fire
Police corner the Gingerdead Man in a candy shop but decide to let him live because none of them can stand the candy shop smell.
Gingerdead Man 14: Rosemary's Bakery
"You've heard of baked goods," an aging, disheveled Gingerdead Man growls. "Well, I'm a baked EVIL!" The quip echoes faintly through an empty room.
Gingerdead Man 15: A Touch of Frosting
Eaten by someone who finally says the titular line, "you're the GingerDEAD Man now!"
Gingerdead Man 16: The Sugarhell Gang
Closeup of Charles Band slumped in a lawn chair drinking Black Label straight from the bottle. "Why bother?" he sighs.
Gingerdead Man 17: We Ran out of Gingerbread Puns
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.