I have nothing interesting to write for today. Oh yeah, here's something: Angela is returning to Orange County tomorrow, so I was wondering if there are any SA fans out there that would like to join me at the John Wayne Airport Thursday evening to greet her as she comes off the plane. I can just picture an unruly mob of SA goons crowded around the gate in id Software shirts and talking about Direct 3D. The universe might implode due to the sheer amount of geekiness we produce in one single location. It will be great.

So if anybody out there can convince their parole officer to let them get out for a bit, drop me a line. The John Wayne Airport is in Orange County, California, so all you non-southern Californians are not eligible (unless you're psychotic and have a lot of money to immediately fly out). It'll be great. I'll bring free stuff to give away. Nothing good, but it will be free so you can't complain. If you're interested in showing up, send me a message and I'll give you the details. Yes, an evening with your favorite webmaster! What could possibly be more exciting? Well besides painting the sidewalk.

To drum up money for the "Something Awful Legal Offense Fund" against the nefarious Gamefan / Express.com, I'm going to start auctioning stuff off on eBay. The first item I'm selling is a brand new, unopened Voodoo 5 5500 AGP card I bought at Best Buy right before nVidia shipped me a GeForce 2 card. This isn't a prank and I'm actually selling this card so (hopefully) I'll have some cash for lawyer fees. Remember: every dollar you bid on this card is a dollar against the forces of evil and tyranny! Bid long and hard, for the children's sake! I probably shouldn't have used the words "long and hard" and "children" in the same sentence, but it's late and I don't care. Hell, I'll even throw in an authentic Jeff K. autographed SA business card. Bid, suckahs!

Huzzah! Six brand new cards have been added to the "Heroes of the Video Game World" trading card series! Check out the newest and hippest cards depicting:

Card #07 - Valve
Card #08 - Lithtech v1.0
Card #09 - Lithtech v2.0
Card #10 - John Romero
Card #11 - Planetcrap
Card #12 - John Carmack

Read em and weep, ladies!

Yes, I do believe the world is coming to an end. The Hair Giant has made a new "Soap Banditos" comic. Fear it.

Boy, do I sure love getting email!

From: cliff yablonski
Subject: what?

hey putz

Ive updated my page with two new pages full of people I hate. If you do not post this email and demand people visit my site, I will track your broke ass down and shove your cat down your throat. post the link to my site.

go to hell


Since I don't want to offend Mr. Yablonski, I highly advise visiting his site and checking out the people in Appleton City he hates (which, as far as I can tell, is everybody).

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful