If You Want to Keep 1000 Corpses in Your House that is OK

Many people have become angry with my advice to reduce the number of corpses in your house to your 30 favorite corpses. Some people said I am judging them for having more than 30 corpses. I am only speaking from my own experience. More than 30 corpses and my house feels cluttered and I know I am not enjoying the corpses to their fullest.

I am not here to judge or scold. I am here to Spark Joy. If the image of taking 970 corpses out of your house makes you feel angry then you should not take out those corpses. Consider your priorities in keeping a happy house. If you need 1000 corpses for happiness, that is what you need.

I will still help tidy. I will show you an easier way to fold your human skin masks. I will teach you how to station your candles so the wax is not getting all over your skulls. I want you to make a space for you to be creative and pursue your happiness, whether it is setting fire to family members, making weapons out of old pieces of machinery, or just being gross.

Tidy and simplify wherever you can. Does Tiny really need all of these sweaters and masks? Put the ones he really needs in his keep box. One mutant seems like enough, Dr. Satan, you do not need to make any more mutants. If you insist on evil experiments then please grind up your first mutant and feed it to the new one. Or inject it into them. Whatever Sparks Joy for you, Dr. Satan.

When you trap drifters in a hellish maze of baby dolls and heavy metal music, I believe it would increase your happiness to focus on a single drifter. These other drifters will only become more corpses and do you really treasure each corpse? Savor the thrill of killing and keep a tidy corpse maze.

Do you really need so many drills and hatchets? How many hands do you have? Two? I see the mutant has three. Point taken.

The number of trapdoors in your house is contributing to the clutter. The more entrances to the corpse basement tunnel thing, the more ways you have of introducing clutter. Choose your favorite trapdoor, the one that always fools drifters, and make it even better. Close up those others.

If 2000 corpses will bring you joy then try to reduce clutter in other ways. Maybe don't nail so many dolls to the walls. Fewer circus advertisements. Tidy. Always tidy.

– Marie Kondo (@sexyfacts4u)