Weekend Newsblargh!

North Korea Replies to Bush Letter (AP)

Hooray! North Korea acknowledged receiving a letter from President Bush!

You know your relationship with a foreign power is on the rocks when you send them a diplomatic policy letter and they reply like a celebrity's assistant answering emails.

It is easy to imagine Bush hunt-and-pecking his way through a rambling letter at his computer about how he saw a TV show on the Korean war and now he feels like he really identifies with North Korea. He just pours his heart out into the letter. It hits about page five and he's starting in on how he knows if they ever met they would become friends and he tells North Korea if it's ever in America he would love to buy it a beer.

He finally gets up the nerve to send it and for the next couple days he keeps wondering if they got the letter and wondering if maybe he should send another one just to be sure. Just when he's about to do exactly that, one of his aides walks in to deliver the reply from North Korea. With barely-contained excitement he unfolds the letter and puts on his reading glasses.

Thanks for your letter!
NK

President Bush's shoulders slump. His fantasy of making a connection with a new friend disappears as quickly as a Kennebunkport DUI arrest.

Maybe next time he can cut out the middleman and send an email with one of those annoying read-receipts.

NASA Sought to Stop Astronaut Meltdowns (AP)

You can file this one under, "Stories guaranteed to confuse a cowboy."
I don't know if I can easily explain it to you, cowboy. You see, there is this thing called space and...well, all you really need to know is that the story it involves a love triangle, kidnapping, and diapers.
Oh, cowboy, you're so stupid.