Pride shall be brought to your family. The games have already started though so you have to hurry. What event will you conquer? It's obvious. Javelin Toss. Looks like the medieval pike you carved for the renaissance fair will come in handy after all. Will they make you perform a drug test? Probably. To be safe, you piss into an empty container of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Does chocolate chip show up in urine samples? Forget it. You write a quick note and leave it on the counter. "Mom, in China. Told you I could use my pike for something other than the fair. I couldn't bring the armor though. Love, your bunny." How are you doing on time? Bob Costas is talking about the Olympic spirit. Looks like you got two days before he's finished. Okay, time to buy a plane ticket, but how are you supposed to pay for this.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Mind Your Strip Club Manners
- GO. AWAY.
- The Eternal Struggle
- There Can Be No Greater Friend Than P. B. Fouke
- Subj: I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR OLD PET CAT !!
