SkyMall Product Reviews: Nano-UV Wand

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

Safely kills 99.9% of targeted bacteria -- E.Coli, Salmonella, and the H1N1 virus in 10 seconds. Effective in killing dust mite eggs in pillows, bedding, and carpet.

Customer Review:
By WildDoug from Sarasota, FL

Does not work on the bacteria in the colon. Part of the wand broke off. Removal was not pleasant. Never buying again. Once was enough.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By TwoHorseMom from Lincoln, NE

Folds up so you can carry it anywhere. I take it with me to restaurants and when having dinner at friends. I can quickly pull this out and vaporize their fecal contaminates with ease. Some people look at me like I'm rude, but honestly you're the one trying to make me eat rat excrement. You're the rude one. Just wish they'd make one that works on gluten, the real killer.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By Caroline from Rapid City, SD

THIS IS NOT A TOY. My children thought they were light sabers and liked to wave them around but in reality they were bombarding each other with trillions of ions and deadly UV light. Now my children have transparent skin and their eyes have stopped working and turned white. It would be nice if they didn't make a useful product look so appealing to children.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By BryceModeler from Saginaw, MI

IS IT WORKING? I've spent about three hours just running it back and forth over a carrot, hoping it would give me some indication when the carrot was safe to eat. I’ll keep running it over the carrot until I get a response. Some kind of progress bar or robotic voice saying something like "WARNING! FECES DETECTED" would be great.

OK, back to disinfecting this carrot.

Age: 46-50

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Customer Review:
By dogboss from Leg Pull, AK

What a joke. 14" is not long enough. Call me when you make a six foot model, because then we're talking. My phone number is 555-210-2313 and don't even worry about the time. The later the better. Just let me know as soon as possible because I've got an awful mess in here.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By RandyMan from Corpus Christi, TX

This product is the reason people are dying. You want to eat at least 5% fecal matter with your meal to build up a tolerance, otherwise you are just going to become too weak to handle it. The Obama United Nations (OUN) would have you believe no fecal matter is good for you. Some is required for being healthy and drinking urine is also smart. I expect to see all jack-booted government thugs carrying these in the next few years, zapping away our own private fecal matter. Wake up sheeple, this is what WW2 was all about.

Age: 51-55

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Customer Review:
By LordGuidesMe from Waterloo, IA

Hello. The nano-uv wand has been causing my dog to shrink progressively tinier with each use. When I started our dog was the size of a full grown St. Bernard. Now she is about the size of a football and she has no fur and she is constantly covered with a thick, sticky gel. Other than that the product works as desired as far as I can tell.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By HiddenWatcher from Provo, UT

Not satisfied. I bought this thinking it would make any fecal matter detected glow. How am I supposed to know if it's working if I can't even see the fecal matter glowing? WHAT PORDUCT can I buy that makes fecal matter glow? Need to see the fecal matter.

Age: 46-50

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)