Goths, Witches, and Wiccans

Halloween may have come and gone, but our society is still chock full of scary, spooky, horrifying creatures that lurk in the night! Today's Weekend Web isn't about them though; it's about the laughably idiotic goth and wiccan "culture" on the Internet. I think there used to be actual legitimate practicing Wiccans at one point in time, but then the Internet took over and the term "Wiccan" is now synonymous with "retarded greasy bloatbags with braided hair who draw pictures of bird nests during history class." As for goths... well, what more do I need to say? Go to any mall throughout America and you'll see at least five teenagers wearing all black and crying tears of eternal sorrow outside the Hickory Farms. Just don't make the mistake of laughing at them and their idiotic hypocritical "culture" or else they'll claim you're a narrow-minded, ignorant sheep who can't understand exactly how intelligent and individualistic they are. You know, because acting and dressing like thousands of other pasty-white people makes you individualistic.