Ask Emily: 01-22-2003

Hey yo,I really don't think that it's a good idea to hang out with this girl, and I'll tell you why that is. Despite the fact that you have been friends for a long time, the fact that you want more from the relationship will be a constant source of frustration for you and could cause you some problems further on down the line. She knows that you have feelings for her and this knowledge gives her a definite advantage. She can do (I am not saying that she WILL do one of these but she could do) one of the following things:1. Manipulate you because she knows that you care for her in that way. Sad but true, this is an option for a lot of girls, especially those who are not exactly emotionally mature. She could use you for any number of things, material or otherwise, but the most popular seems to be keeping you around as a sort of back-up guy / emotional crutch who she can lead on and turn to when in need of support. This is bad news for you for obvious reasons. I don't know how likely this girl would be to do this (because I know nothing about her), but the likelihood is increased the younger she is. Caring for her in the way that you do puts you at a distinct disadvantage in that you may find yourself in a compromising position.2. Decide that your recent profession of love made the friendship entirely too awkward and stop talking to you. For this reason, it might be better for you to distance yourself a bit from her, at least until you have gotten over any amorous feelings you might have had. Only then would it be a good idea for you to pursue a friendship with her. In the mean time you might even find that it is too painful for you to be with her and that you can't stop thinking of her as more than a friend. Get the hell out of Dodge until things settle down with that whole thing.Neither of these things are certainties, but they are both more likely to happen than for your friendship to just go back to normal as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Take a break and hang out with your other friends for a bit. Maybe in time your feelings for this girl will fade and you will be able to progress with a friendship, but in the meantime you are setting yourself up for disaster on the scale of falling into a large vat of warm and moistly bloody silk purses.

What a maroon.