Henry the Hand, submitted by Alice. It's sites like this that make me glad the Internet is currently imploding.

You are wondering, What is the big deal with these viruses and bacteria anyway? Viruses and bacteria cause disease (dis-ease: which sounds just like it should; it makes you uncomfortable and feel bad). Some of you may remember when you had a common virus or the flu and you felt like you had been beaten up or run over by a toy truck. Can you imagine feeling like this all the time? This is why it is so important to keep your fingers out of your eyes, nose and mouth and keep your hands clean so you don’t contaminate yourself. Coughing or sneezing into your hands converts them into "germ weapons" until they are washed.

Strangely enough, they fail to mention anything about Mir space death plagues. Perhaps a cover-up by Henry the Hand? Somebody call in Mulder's geeky friends from "The X-Files," I think I smell a smoking gun. Quick, somebody compromise their cookies!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful