The Torments of Hell (Thanks, Zorblack!)

So apparently the devil has an "official" Web site. I'm not sure if he created it himself or if he got some dude to be his eternal dark webmaster in exchange for getting to fuck whores in hell, but either way, it's got some nifty stuff. Like, did you know the devil has a diary? He totally does, and it's completely secret, which is probably why he kept it in Hell, so the Omniscient Being he's forever battling couldn't find it. Plus it has a padlock on it. Nah, actually, it's just some dude's recollection of a particularly nasty psychotic episode he had. I can't even find any proof he thinks he's the devil!

Now, the Interview with Satan, on the other hand, that guy is definitely the devil. The devil who wants everyone to drive electric cars and stop destroying the Earth. The devil who is against plundering. The Torments of Hell presents a really weird conception of the devil: Hell is a miserable place and the devil runs it, but he also likes us and wishes our politicians were better. I think Satan needs a new online mouthpiece, cuz while this guy is pretty good at the incredibly insane exposition part, he just cannot deliver a consistent message. Welcome to burning in hell! I love you!

– Daryl "Fucking" Hall