The Terrible Truth About Dolphins (2006) Directed by: Terrence Vizio
/ Fake Documentary
/ Environmental Activism
You Can't Hug Mother Nature With Dolphin Arms
Plot Outline: Watergate or watery grave? The hidden politics of dolphins are explored in this hard-hitting documentary, with no punches pulled - especially those aimed at the gills!
User Comments: Dolphins do not have gills (more)
User Rating: 3.1 / 10 (989 votes)
|Jane Fonda||....||Gunthild Dolphinkiller|
|Dr. Jerry Plankton||....||Himself|
|Argyle Fetor||....||Jeff Dempsey|
|Walter F. Murray||....||Himself|
Also Known As:
Les mémoires des dauphins marquent mon âme (Germany)
Get Dem Dolphins! (Atlanta)
Runtime: USA: 98 min / Germany: 98 min / Atlanta: 93 min
Sound Mix: Dakotah's Touch of Class
- After a run-in with the MPAA (who threatened to give the "documentary" an NC-17 rating), Director Terrence Vizio begrudgingly cut the movie's opening segment, a five-minute montage of Fonda "training for a fight" by repeatedly kicking a beached dolphin in the face.
- Although he called it "The Dolphin Whisperer", the salt-loaded shotgun Vizio carried around the set was never used on the dolphins themselves. Instead, he fired the gun into Fonda's underwear drawer daily, convinced the salt would shrink the actress' unsightly vaginal bulge.
- Despite Fonda's presence in the film Vizio almost received government arts funding as a documentary filmmaker. Plans only fell through when protestors noted there were no government-sponsored "dolphin internment camps", and that no film in favor of saving dolphins would refer to the creatures as "grey-skinned sea niggers".
- The "pro-dolphin" subterfuge didn't end there. Vizio hired several big-name activist bands to perform his movie's soundtrack, only to have most of them drop out when they saw a rough cut of the film. The only band who stayed on the project was 311, who said later claimed they "never saw it that way".
- A "Dolphins in Popular Film" segment was scrapped when Ed Norton refused to don neo-Nazi garb and curb-stomp a dolphin.
- Director Trademark: Bar fight scenes in which drunken men grab bottlenose dolphins by the snout, break them over a bar, and stab one-another with the remains.
- Vizio evaded animal cruelty charges by calling his on-set actions "religious practice" and saying every inquiry forced him to kill another dolphin in the name of "cleansing".
- When asked about her decision to appear in the movie, Fonda told reporters she was "attacked by a tiny pink dolphin every night for years". Ted Turner, in response, said "I don't know any dolphins the size of a baby's arm" before putting on his favorite Stetson hat and punching a black person in the mouth. (More)
Gunthild Dolphinkiller: Every night... every night they come. You think Flipper's smiling at you, motherfucker? You think he's happy to be in that goddamn tank? No. He's... he's smiling because he's thinking. Thinking about sucking your mom's guts out through her cunt. Thinking about the day they leave his tank a little too open, just so he can clamp those fucking meateaters down on some little kid's face. Ever seen an eight-year-old girls' lungs, Al? It ain't pretty. Especially when a dolphin's blowin' 'em up like a big goddamn meat balloon.
Narrator: So... what do you think of the people who say dolphins aren't all that bad?
Gunthild Dolphinkiller (loading crossbow): Faggots. All of 'em. Dolphins won't eat 'em because they stink like patchouli and incense.
Narrator: Then why don't you wear patchouli and incense, too?
Gunthild Dolphinkiller: You callin' me a faggot?
Dr. Jerry Plankton (dubbed): Hoo-buddy! I sure is a dolphin-lovin' fagboat! Gimmie a dolphin so I can fuck him! Make sure it's a boy dolphin, too!
Al Plankton (dubbed): This 'ere biology degree only means one thing: I get paid thousands of dollars to fu-hu-huck dolphins!
Dr. Jerry Plankton: Uh, why isn't the microphone on? And why are you mumbling into that tape recorder?
Narrator: No reason. (More)
- Factual errors: Dolphins do not "go faster" when injected with racing-grade gasoline.
- Factual errors: The so-called "Eskimo burrito" enjoyed by the Inuits towards the end of the movie is not a burrito, but in fact a dolphin producers doused in lemon juice and rolled in a pile of thumbtacks.
- Factual errors: Dolphins do not have "dolphin tires" and cannot be "flattened" by being stabbed in the stomach.
- Miscellaneous: The "octopus" in the mud wrestling scene is actually a dolphin with a number of radiator hoses nailed to its forehead.
- Plot holes: Walter F. Murray claims in an interview that dolphins killed him and his entire family.
- Miscellaneous: In several scenes Fonda rubs her face and says "my ass hurts".
- Incorrectly regarded as goofs: Although the German name of the movie is in French, Vizio says the mistake is intentional: "as an artist," he said in an interview, "I did not want my work spoken in a dog's language".
- Factual errors: Freddie Mercury did not contract AIDS from a dolphin, and the song "Bohemian Rhapsody" is not about catching AIDS from dolphins. It's about catching AIDS from sleeping with AIDS patients.
- Factual errors: Tuna nets are not "great American heroes" and dolphin meat does not make tuna taste like ice cream.
- Miscellaneous: It is physically impossible to freeze a dolphin solid and ride it like a skateboard to school.
- Incorrectly regarded as goofs: In one scene a town resident says Fonda is "an attractive lady". It was later revealed that the man suffers from a rare form of dementia that makes him think it's 1977 all the time.
- Crew or equipment visible: In several scenes you can see Vizio strangling, and in one scene stomping on, newborn baby dolphins in the backround.
- Miscellaneous: Vizio's suggestion that viewers "throw a bunch of microwaves and hair dryers and shit in the ocean" would not work, since there aren't any extension cords that long.
- Factual errors: Dolphins do not engage in gay sex with one-another by way of their blow holes. They do that with their anuses.
- Factual errors: Dolphins do not enjoy the comedy stylings of DL Hughley. Why? Because they have a sense of humor.
– Evan "Pantsfish" Wade