Falcon Heene Rap

Submitted by Andrew R.

Ai yo, I heard a lot of mother fuckers out there talkin' that shit about me hidin' my ass in an attic and pretending to be up in my crazy-ass old man's UFO balloon. We're here to set the record straight: our dad is off his fucking rocker. Don't just take my word for it: King Brad-Rock, holla at 'em.

Brad-Rock in the place, set to rock the mic.
Been exploited by my dad since I was a tyke.
The real name's Bradford but don't crack wise,
I'm the only one with a name that won't roll ya eyes.

It's the R-Y-O takin' over for Brad,
Only kickin' this rhyme 'cause I'm scared of my dad.
Right now I'm just 8 but once puberty stops,
I'll have a thing for Asians just like my pops.

My name's Falc D and I get no respect,
Your scorn and contempt is what I expect.
It ain't my fault, my dad's to blame,
He'd slit my throat for 15 of fame.

3 scared kids and our crazy old man,

Start callin' CPS as fast as you can,

Yo, Falc D what's the master plan?

*beat drops out*

I wasn't in that balloon.
My dad's a liar.
All you sucka reporters can call me sire.

*folds arms across chest* Word.

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