Steve: Yesssss!
Zack: I knew Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon was over the top, but this is out of control.
Steve: The military would be so much more badass if they dual wielded guns and carried around miniguns.
Steve: And had missions like: "Take out the dragon" and "Waste a bunch of skeletons" and "Drop a nuke into a volcano where an ancient god is going to be born."
Zack: We'll be lucky if ten years from now the military leaves the inside of a trailer and has missions that aren't "watch this US citizen have sex on a thermal camera" and "shoot a laser into a foreign child."
Steve: Yeah, I know, the military is a bummer now. Nobody jumps out of helicopters yelling and shooting anymore.
Zack: That's because our enemies are college kids reading PDF magazines and making bombs out of fireworks. If we had some dragons to fight things might be different.
Steve: You hear that, Al Qaeda? Get on it.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- The Immortals Handbook: Epic Bestiary
- Steve's Adventure Toolkit: Rad NPC Generator
- The Mind-Blowing Cover Art of Classic D&D
- Steve's Adventure Toolkit: Wicked Encounter Generator
- Palladium's Nightbane (1995)
