A two-man FEMA team plants explosives in 7 World Trade Center
Lou Olsen and Donald "Denny" Alvarez collectively formed one of five teams sent by FEMA to plant demolition charges on various structures in the World Trade Center complex. All such FEMA teams disappeared shortly before the terrorist attacks on September 11th.
| Lou Olsen: | Like this. (Sounds of movement) |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | Yeah, but where do you hook up the remote detonator? |
| Lou Olsen: | Hand it to me. (Sounds of movement followed by a click) There. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | Alright, looks good. How many more do we have? |
| Lou Olsen: | Two more in the basement and then four more for the rest of the building. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | Jesus. |
| Lou Olsen: | You said it. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | (Sounds of movement) Hey, (Grunting and scraping sounds) do you ever wonder about all this? |
| Lou Olsen: | Like how do you mean? |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | I mean how we're sticking bombs all over this building. |
| Lou Olsen: | Nah. It's for an emergency. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | I heard the same briefing you heard. But what sort of emergency means you have to put bombs all over a building? |
| Lou Olsen: | It's not our job to worry about that. The guys that fly the black helicopters know what they're talking about. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | I guess. |
| Lou Olsen: | You guess (Snorting sound). |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | Yeah, I guess. It's just, well, who do those guys work for? |
| Lou Olsen: | The government. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | But I mean what branch? They never showed ID or anything. They just told us to put the bombs in the buildings "in case of an emergency." |
| Lou Olsen: | They work for the President or something. Who cares? |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | I mean, I know we're not supposed to be curious about this stuff. I just- (Sounds of clanging and clattering) Oh, shit! |
| Lou Olsen: | What did you do now, numbskull? |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | My pocket. (Clattering grows more distant). I dropped some loose change. |
| Lou Olsen: | Say that again. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | What, "Oh, shit?" |
| Lou Olsen: | No, about what fell out of your pocket. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | Loose change? |
| Lou Olsen: | Whoa. Deja Vu, man. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | Oh, yeah, weird. Like that is really important. Like that's somehow the truth or something. |
| Lou Olsen: | Weird. Anyway, help me get this detcord on the cart. |
| Donald "Denny" Alvarez: | You see "King of Queens" last night? |
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Of Geeks and Gentlemen
- The Last Minute Of Goofballs 4: Campout On Space Station Terror
- Instruction for a Fruit
- Success is Always Having to Say You're Sorry
- The Dog I Like
