Star Wars: The Last Jedi debuts on December 15th and the buzz is building among fans for that galaxy long ago and far away. The Force Awakens introduced many new characters and prompted fans to develop a number of theories. Fans are certainly hoping that The Last Jedi answers all of the questions that have, particularly about female ejaculation.

What is it? Is it just pee? On a porno do women sort of squirt water up there? Does Supreme Leader Snoke finally give fans the answer they have all been waiting for about what is going on with female ejaculation? Does Chewbacca know about it?

One popular theory is that female ejaculation is real and it is a fluid similar to male semen, but much thinner. This liquid is said to be produced by the skene gland in women. BB-8's map may help the Rebellion find the skene gland that is said to produce the seminal-fluid like ejaculation.

But has BB-8 actually seen female ejaculation? That's crazy. If a man ejaculated that much he would be dead. Another popular fan theory is that female ejaculation is all or mostly urine. Those gushing torrents of liquid seem far too plentiful to be anything else. Will Luke finally tell Rey the truth about the Force and also clear things up on the content of female ejaculation?

During production, actor Mark Hamill expressed some disagreement with director Rian Johnson about the direction Luke takes in the film. Could it be possible that Hamill believes in the urine theory of female ejaculation, but Johnson wanted Luke to reveal the skene gland origin of female ejaculation? Fans will have to wait until December 15th to have their questions answered.

What about the possibility of squeezing a water bottle into a woman's vagina so that she has that liquid trapped in there? Could she spray it all out on command? Carrie Fisher, in what may be her final turn as General Leia, could provide fans with the answers they are looking for. Perhaps just as she explains the truth about female ejaculation, she is killed by Kylo Ren. It would be a fitting sendoff for maybe the all-time greatest woman in science fiction.

What about Finn and new co-star Kelly Marie Tran as Rose? Will they find a holo-crystal containing ancient Jedi wisdom about female ejaculation? What is the film reveals a fourth possible origin for the liquid? That fluid could be something more powerful than even a Yoda ever dreamed!

We'll all have to wait and see!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful