Coming Out of Our Shells!
Ooze fell into the sewer
Made us into something newer
Capable of karate and english!
We four normal turtles got oozed
Then ninja training got used
Livin' in the sewer, pizza!
Sing About It
We were turtles then ooze fell onto us
Mutatin' made us adventurous
The ooze started up there and landed on our heads!
When we were normal turtles we were smaller
Then the ooze made us taller
Honestly, we like all kinds of pizza!
Born as normal turtles but now we're talking
Cause some guy with ooze tripped while walkin'
While normal we never dreamed we'd be mutants!
When the ooze fell down that grate
It was scary but turned out great
Because it made us mutants who can talk!
Thought what fell on us was pizza
But it was ooze saying nice to meet ya
We have different personalities!
When ooze falls on you it's destiny
Now we can put pads on our knees
Ooze fell on us from above!
Ooze dropped on me in that sewer place
Now I've got a mask on my face
To hide my identity!
When ooze splashes on ya
You lose your taste for lasagna
Mutation includes an unrelenting hunger for pizza!
When that ooze hits you after falling
You start to feel that martial arts practice calling
We were turtles and then we were mutants!
Ooze fell through the grate and hit our skin
As mutants we were born again
Our masks are different colors!
In the sewers when that ooze hit my head
Never thought I'd love cheese and red sauce on bread
But I do because ooze fell on me in the sewer!
Before I was a mutant the ooze hit me when I was normal
Now I fill in "mutant" on all paperwork which is formal
Couldn't fill out forms when I was just a turtle!
That ooze hit them like a shower
Gave them mutant power
You see these guys aren't just turtles, they can talk!
Down the sewer on to them that ooze did drop
Mutants it made them even though it looked like slop
It was ooze and it hit them!
Count on Us
Above us that canister of ooze did crack wide open
Made us into so much more than we were hopin'
By that I mean it made us mutants and ninjas as well!
Did I mention that ooze fell on us while we were in the sewer
Now the world of regular turtles has precisely four fewer
That's the four of us, who were once normal turtles but are now mutants!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.