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This article is part of the Foreign News Aggregators series.

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Deadly Wildfires Linked to Lingering Contempt for Yankee Fire Bear "Smokey" and His Refutation of Collectivist Ideology

SCIENCE EXPERT: Minerals in Smoke Reduce Visibility, Need for Vitamin Supplements

Moscow Indoors: Museum of NKVD Torture Chambers Tops Museum of KGB Interrogation Cells

"Again!" Commisars Order 1,000 More Firemen to Charge in Waves at Wildfire

Tajik Bites Dog: Subway Riding Dogs Safe After Law Bans Tajiks from Underground, Aboveground, Sky, Heaven

Putin and Screaming Child Go Swimming in Hyper-Salinated Aral Sea to Prove Waters Safe for Further Uranium Blast Dredging

Tech Deal: Iran Trades Pipeline Rights to Gazprom in Exchange for Russian Peaceful Nuclear Warhead Technology

President Medvedev Announces Support for Plan to Build Chechen Mosque at Ground Zero of Ongoing Helicopter Rocket Attack in Grozny

Somali Pirates Drive Away Russian Aircraft Carrier During Russian Hijacking Attempt

Massive Deposit of Valuable Natural Gas Discovered Beneath Violent, Unhygienic Kyrgyz Population

New Law Protecting Children from Kyrgyz Child-Eating Gypsies Will Also Ban Kyrgyz from Land Ownership

Army Eviction of Illegal Kyrgyz Squatter Camp Erupts in Violence Following Attack on Dozer Tanks By Shouting, Surprised Kyrgyz

New 4D Television Only Available in Swimming Pool of Russian Oligarch's Underground Drilling Yacht

USA to Grovel Like Dogs for Access to ISS Mission Using Russian Spacecraft They Helped Pay for in 1990s

Pitiful iPhone Disconnects When Held Improperly Unlike Superior Russian iHorsk Which Never Disconnects and is Usable Also By Horse

Internet Blog Agitators Force Grainburst Classic Cola Maker Muscovy Sulfur and Aluminum to Deny Claims the Soda Now Contains Hydrogenated Sulfur Syrup

30% of Pakistan Flooded in Aftermath of CIA Drone Attack on Last Waterbender

Analysis: Total Economic Collapse of USA By 2011 Will Cause Fragmentation into 75 City States

At 84 Castro Credits Longevity to Cuba's Superior Healthcare System, Mafia Laziness

Upcoming Australian Elections Might Cause Total Collapse of Australia and Fragmentation into 8 or 9 City States

Chinese Milk Grows Breasts on Babies, May Threaten Russian Sex Slave Exports to UAE

FSB to Switch to 100% Solar Powered Scrotum Electrocutions

Novogornsk Mayor Declares Every Day St. Patrick's Day to Explain Bright Green Lake

Technology Man of Science Institute Announces Discovery of New Superior Russian Strain of Coal Called "Better Coal"

New Species of Bioluminescent Owls Identified by Survivors of Science Team Attacked in Thriving Wild Lands of Exclusion Zone

"Wild Success": The Five Year Plan to Replace Russia's Aging Electric Infrastructure With Off-the-Grid "No Electricity" System

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)