Advertising is quite possibly mankind's greatest and worst achievement. While it is disgusting that we have made a wonderful art out of selling people things that they simply do not need, it is inspiring that we have made a wonderful art out of selling people things that they simply do not need. This week we journey back in time to a time still long after dinosaurs roamed the earth to beat the holy crap out of some of the advertisements of yesteryear. In the pasty hands of the Something Awful Forum Goons, these old ads shine with new life. And horror. Mostly horror.

FranklinPCombs wrestles with the sombrero-clad alligators of his conscience every day.

Grenck believes predicate nominatives were invented on a Hollywood soundstage by the NSA.

gvonpaul knows that the sandworms and the spice are one in the same.

occamsmonkey never expected to get chlamydia when he volunteered to save the village from the menace of the Scorpion Cave.

Nihixul was a big fan of the novelization of the Lord of the Rings movies.

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