Flames from Review of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Most likely a fake email but still interesting. Interesting because the question that ultimately comes up is, "Why bother writing this email?" Alternating lowercase and uppercase letters isn't funny no matter what you are doing with them. But let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt and believe that this is in fact a real email. And just for the hell of it let's say that my review was actually what I truly believe. What is going through this guy's head when he writes emails like this? Does he somehow feel like he accomplished something by telling me and my fake review off? Maybe he really did accomplish something today. Maybe Rockstar will see this email and call him up and personally thank him for defending their game like this. Rockstar just might give him a job checking websites for negative reviews about Rockstar developed games and then writing angry emails to those web sites. I truly hope for the best for Thomas Z and wish him the best of luck in the future.

We're almost done here.

All of the above, mate.

1. I love attention and I love to wank, mate.
2. The Beatles are shit. Do I really believe that or not? Ohhh, better write me an angry email about it, mate!
3. Huh, mate?
4. First of all it's Carl WINSLOW not Jordon you moron, mate.

Listen Phill Wall, I don't know what you're talking about but thanks for writing in, mate.

This is the last one and boy am I glad for that.

Real reviewing web site? You mean IGN? They frequently whore themselves out to McDonald's and any publisher with a wad of cash and a huge dick to wave around. You mean Gamespy? Their top story on any given day is often about the kind of packaging that video games come in. You mean Gamespot? They will often complain nonstop about a game in their reviews and then give it the highest score they possibly can. How can I trust a web site if I can't even trust their reviews? Why am I such a faggot that I care so much about what some guy in a cubicle in San Mateo thinks about Frogger?!

Who gives a shit though? Video games are one of the least important things in life and I cannot believe that 116 people emailed me to defend a game they had nothing to do with. The fact of the matter is that anyone who crusades against someone else because they had been "wronged" with a few jokes at their expense has nothing better to do and a low sense of self-esteem.

– Zachary "Spokker Jones" Gutierrez