End of Year Awards + The Most Anticipated Games of 2019
Into the Breach. That's the game of the year. Obviously. This concludes the Game of the Year Awards. Thank you for your time.
2018 Holiday Gift Guide For People You Love, Hate, and Won't Buy a Gift For
If you could solve every problem in life by picking up coins and throwing them at strangers, I wouldn't be in jail at this very moment for throwing coins at strangers from the roof of an Outback Steak House
My Shameful Gaming Confessions
Forgive me, Sid Meier, for I have sinned. I have never finished a 3D Zelda game.
An Absurdly Biased Look at the Neo Geo Mini
For years I daydreamed about owning a Neo Geo of my own. Unfortunately the $600 console and $200 carts were slightly beyond my budget of zero dollars.
Bethesda's Open Letter to Fallout 76 Players
We look forward to seeing you in the game. Maybe one of you can tell us how to change the title screen logo from Gamebryo to Fallout 76.
Some Genius Let Me In Google's Project Stream, And Now I'm Spilling the Beans All Over Your Screen
It only looks weird when you're running through vegetation. Did I mention that about two thirds of Assassin's Creed Odyssey is spent running through vegetation?
The Definitive Morrowind Mod Installation Order
Reinstall the original Better Bodies mod to counteract the Far Worse Bodies mod, making all bodies an ideal 80% worse rather than 100% worse
A Message From Toad
I'm being destroyed by a situation beyond my control! My wife has been very supportive but I can tell that this has shaken her to her core!
Patch Notes: Spider-Man
Tweaked the difficulty of Spider-Man's final boss fight, in which he faces off with The Puddler
After 10 Dang Years Away From World of Warcraft, Here's My Battle for Azeroth Review
After ten years away (How is that possible???) I've come back for the launch of Battle for Azeroth. There's an overwhelmingly positive buzz surrounding the expansion, and it seems like a good excuse to see how much the game has changed in the last decade.
There Should Have Been 32 Additional Bonk Sequels, And I Came Up With Titles For All of Them
Bonk: Two Bonks - Me Bonking You, And You Bonking The Floor
The One Sentence Review Special: More Reviews Than It's Humanly Possible To Read!
It's been nearly two months since our last round of One Sentence Reviews, hasn't it? And since I finally picked up an SNES Classic, why not rate every game on the system while I'm at it? Don't you love it when three rhetorical questions come together?
Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Soul Wars (Part 9)
Soul Wars is a massive box containing everything you need to start playing Warhammer Age of Sigmar, aside from free time. Well, I haven't checked every compartment. A packet of free time might be tucked away in there.
The N64 Classic Hasn't Been Announced Yet - Here's Why
Reason 1: Nintendo hasn't been able to find a manufacturing partner that can reliably mass-produce tens of thousands of terrible controllers with broken c-sticks.
Tom Clancy's The Division 2 Is NOT Political, Obviously
According to The Division 2's creative director, the game is not political. Does The Last of Us 2 feature smooching? "No." Is there income inequality in Cyberpunk 2077? "Absolutely not."
My Moonlighter Shop's Worst-Selling Items
Metal Nose With Handle - All the convenience of a nose, but now it's portable!
A Beat-Em-Up Henchman's Resume
Qualifications: Industry veteran with twenty eight years of experience delivering fist-and-foot-based content to a variety of high profile clients.
Battletech Infirmary Log: Dekker
The patient, callsign "Dekker", was admitted to the infirmary after shooting at an enemy turret power generator from point blank range. All four of his attacks missed. Dekker, caught up in the excitement, passed out from overstimulation.
I Have Been a Game Developer For 3 Days. Here's Everything I Know
After three days I pretty much know everything about game development. Admittedly I may have to learn what it's like to win a lifetime achievement award, but that will come next year.
Patch Notes Roundup: Far Cry 5, Sea of Thieves, Fortnite
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the variety of enemy types from skeletons, snakes, sharks, and non-functioning Kraken to [PLACEHOLDER UNTEXTURED CUBE]
I'm Making a Game! Try the Demo in Your Browser, Give Your Life Savings to the Kickstarter
I'm making a choose-your-own-adventure comedy game about uninformed choices and unfair consequences. It's called Harm Other, and you can play the demo now.
The Best PC Games You Can't Buy
Before the noted terrible game Destiny 2, and even before Halo, Bungie made fantasy games about dwarfs exploding into gross bloody chunks on hills and bridges.
Star Wars: Galaxies and the Joy of Being a Big Dumb Baby
One month after the launch of Star Wars: Galaxies a scrawny Mon Calamari stands in an Imperial player-created city, hands at his sides and large vacant eyes also at his sides.
It's the 20th Anniversary of My Quake 2 David Letterman Skin!
The Quake 2 David Letterman skin remains my crowning achievement, a work of art as vital and compelling as it was the day that dave.pcx was uploaded.
Wacky Video Game Logic... In Real Life?!? What the
Wacky video game logic: If you become injured, try to get healed as quickly as possible.
Review: Mouse Guard Roleplaying Game (Part 8)
Before we get started you should know that I have never Dungeoned a Dragon or Findered a Path. As you read this review please keep in mind that Mouse Guard is my first pen & paper RPG and I am a colossal idiot.
