Camelot Maltese, submitted by Peter. With that fetish rant out of my system, I have selected a nice wholesome link to be the Awful Link of the Day. While the site might not be sexually deviant, "wholesome" is not the right word; even browsing a few pages will make you feel dirty.
"Welcome to Maltesedog.com, where we promise you within 30 seconds you will be shaken to the core by the hundreds of soulless black eyed dogs staring back at you!"
That would be my welcome statement anyway. This Maltese breeder's site has it all though, they don't just start and stop with the pooches with the hollow peepers. It's got confusing frames navigation with sections labeled so cryptically I had to download Netscape's source code just to visit the gallery page. It has noxious clipart animations and even viler homebrewed animations. Of special note is the spiraling Maltese pain vortex towards the bottom of the opening page and the constant bold text scroll in a frame across the top.
His progeny, so far, has reflected strong genetic characteristic of the desired Maltese dog. Ice white silk coat, perfect bite, dead level top line, great movement, large black marble eyes, black velvet pigment and a dense square body. Rare traits found in combination, are silk coats and dense bodies. This will always be a consideration in the selection process as these Maltese ladies free whelp and enjoy an overall good health condition. The trait of black velvet pigment seems to be the combination of several polygenes as they effect both skin texture and color.
I am placing an ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine to hire a mercenary to kill me at this very moment. For extra added bonus horror, make sure to check out the timeless classic entitled, "The Maltese dog is Under the Sea" and the page which will make you vomit until every vital organ in your body is laying on the floor beneath you. Make sure your audio is on!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.