Custom Cartoon Cocks (Thanks, DrPain!)

Well, I'd hoped not to look at any incredibly stupid websites this year, and I made it an entire week before dashing that resolution, which is pretty good given the nature of this job! So, here we are, Customcartooncocks.com, and just in time for the "weekly bonus drawing" that our nameless artist calls "Willie Wednesdays!" The "News" page talks about how "some work in progress was leaked on Reddit" and how "my site and drawings have been getting some buzz on Imgur," so you can really use this site to track how a horrible concept spreads through the dregs of the Internet these days.

You have to click 'cocks' to enter the site. Even if you do this, which you shouldn't, you don't have to use the little dong icon for page navigation; there's also a drop-down menu option. Don't give in to her demeaning power games!

Anyway this site only started last month so there's just a page and a half of images, none of which I'll link here because it's goddamn customcartooncocks.com. But here's a summary: pop-culture things in phallic format. She drew Simon & Garfunkel singing "Hello vagina my old friend" in a recording booth, and also a ninja and a pirate because it's the Internet, and a cactus that was hopefully a practice doodle because it's even less justifiable as a $10 commission than the rest.

Seriously, don't click on this. Isn't it punishment enough that you now know it exists? Remember, you still have a chance to avoid seeing any sites like this in 2013. Take up my resolution! Avenge me!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller