Mr. No-No

"Mr. No-No is short, yellow and creepy looking causing trouble everywhere he goes. He hates little boys and girls to touch him and will give them a boo-boo if they do! It's easy to see why children love to hate him, he's just crewel!"

Scott Cirillo's "crewel" creation Mr. No-No aims to scare children away from medicine-cabinet goodies, deadly rubber duckies, basically anything onto which weird parents can attach a sticker of his hideous impish visage. The site also provides additional safety tips for holidays, such as the Easter reminder "do not hide eggs in light sockets."

Parents Only promises "explicitly graphic" illustrations of "what happens to children when subjected to dangerous Products and Places," but the Mr. No-No-style sociopaths who want to revel in such carnage will have to wait until "Spring 2009." It's unclear how these images could be more disturbing than Mr. No-No's seasonal greetings.

Cirillo looks to parlay his unique skill set (childlike spelling and crayon-caliber drawings, to better connect with his intended audience) and educational experience (numerous certificates of attendance from community colleges) into a multimedia empire, featuring DVDs (2010), video games (2011) and a feature-length movie (2013).

The sky's the limit for what a nightmare-inducing troll can achieve as a children's entertainment icon!

– Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller